Mapping an impaired vision
- John Czwartacki
- 12 hours ago
- 2 min read
I am usually reluctant to overly explain my paintings, but this is a piece where context is everything.
I won’t bury the lede: VOS 0.15 is the name of this painting and also the visual acuity of my left eye. Basically, it is the measurement doctors use to say, "He can’t see squat in his left eye."
More specifically, I can make out fuzzy shapes,
detect motion, and navigate floating spaces where things are slightly clearer. And I see it only in black and white.
It has been like this since early 1993. It was my very first Multiple Sclerosis symptom—a condition called optic neuritis—which left me completely blind in that eye for almost six weeks. While my sight marginally returned and plateaued at 15% functionality, the color never came back.
At first it was disconcerting Judging distance was difficult with one eye. My jump shot was shot. Pouring a glass of milk became a like the splash zone at Sea World. But within the year my brain reset its algorithm, and my depth perception improved.
My everyday activity was unaffected and no one could tell except me.
The darkness is not pure black anymore but like a room at night with no lights on. Just leaks of moonlight as your eyes adjust. You can’t see colors or fine details but detect dark blobs against lighter backgrounds, and, most importantly, movements. Very useful in both haunted houses and while driving.
It is hard to describe exactly what I see…. to my family or anyone else. Finally, one of my sons asked, "Why don't you paint what you DO see?" “**
So, I did.
What appears in the upper right field in my eye is entirely different from I can picture in the lower left. It is sharp in a couple of places, yet vague eveirnywhere else. It is a map of floaters, "sharpies," and blank spots. Where words usually failed to capture the image , oil paint stepped in.*
It’s not pretty picture or even a proper homage to my mid century artistic dols. What I caught on canvas is closer to a screen cap of my eye’s view. It’s like a channel to a bioelectronic signal that is a personal AbEx painting that my brain creates and use to interpret life.
Working monochromatically might be limiting for some projects, but here it served me well. Showing the subject through the values, drags, shading, and wiping of the medium, contrast is king. As I built the image, I realized I was conveying what my brain is picking up: scraps of data, mixed with other sensory input from my body, the other eye, and even the emotion and light of the scene that manages to scrape through scarred optic nerve.
Musiic for viewing: Shadowplay by Joy Division
Below is a gallery showing the stages of the painting. The changes are subtle, but they mean more than I can describe.
**there is a machine and test that maps what your eye can perceive. This was more accurate and a lot more fun.
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